Good morning boys and girls! It's that time of day again (5:48 a.m.) when there's not enough time to work on a chapter and too much time to just fool around on the internet before work.
So gather around for another Christmas Retale!
~*~
Today's story is: Seasonal Harrassment
Another thing to think about while you're shopping for Christmas presents and dealing with the hassle of getting out of the store without being elbowed in the eye by another crazy shopper, is that many of the workers in that store are seasonal workers.
Now I don't know why, but Barnes and Noble likes to hire older people for this job.
And by old, I mean like nursing home escapees.
This seasonal worker is the sweetest old lady, and working beside her I noticed that whenever Magazine Guy walked by she would smile and then... stare at him until he was out of sight. Maybe its just me having a hard time imagining women her age having a libido, but I didn't really put two and two together right away.
She was training so I was trying to show her how to work a touch screen register (a frustrating task, but again, she was so nice I didn't want discourage her.) She also didn't hear very well. Anyone who knows someone hard of hearing can tell you that often makes them talk very loud. She was definitely one of those people, which I suppose isn't usually a problem when you've got a crowded store.
Later on in the day, I was trying to show her how to open the register (again) when I realized she wasn't listening.
Not in a "say that again, dearie" kind of way. She was distracted.
I glanced up and followed her gaze to see the Magazine Guy pass by the registers again.
He nodded in greeting, the truth being that he is a pretty attractive twenty-something year old, and I've watched him walk away before, myself. Seasonal Worker and I smiled back, her own grin being a little bit guilty.
Then the Seasonal Worker turns to me and says in her loud, hard-of-hearing voice, "He's a Cutie Patootie, isn't he?"
Magazine Guy stopped so fast that his shoes squeaked on the tile and looked back at us. His ears turned bright red, but she just smiled again. I'm not sure if she knows he heard her or not, but it was good karma, as he was one of the guys giving me grief for the Playboy yesterday.
~*~
I know. Another old lady story. But nothing weirder than that happened yesterday. Maybe today I'll make Magazine Guy a new name tag with "Cutie Patootie" written on it.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Christmas Retales- 12/17/09
Happy various holidays everyone!
Yes, I know. I haven't updated. Feel free to curse me, but I'm working full time trying to get hell out of my house and working in retail during the last two weeks before Christmas is an absolute hell. I would much prefer a more painless death, but the money is coming in.
Saying this, I must tell you that Christmas retail in America brings out the weird in people. The closer you get to Christmas the more frantic people become. And a crowded store full of anxious procrastinators is bound to cause a few. Everyday this week something weird has happened. From the lady in bright pink pants covering the floor with books like tile to the woman throwing ten dollar bills at the cafe worker to guy walking around with an open can of cat food handing out samples.
So I've decided to record the weirdest events of the day and post them each morning. Have a seat boys and girls, as I begin the series of Christmas Retales.
~*~
Today's tale is: The Old Lady and the Dirty Mag
Once upon a time I was at the registers when a little old lady comes up to purchase her item. I start to ring her up doing the usual stuff when I see this little old woman is buying a Playboy calendar. Thinking it was none of my business, I put it aside and gave her the total of the purchase.
She started to open her purse, then paused thoughtfully. Then she cocked her head to the side and said, "Where are your Playboy magazines? I couldn't find them."
"We keep them in the back. You have to ask someone that works here to go get it for you," I explained.
"Why?"
Very patiently, I pretended like the answer wasn't obvious.
"Some people might think the content is too inappropriate to be on display," I said.
How else did one explain that it was full of naked women?
Her brow furrowed, clearly not satisfied with the answer, but she nodded understandedly and I continued to put her item in the bag.
"If it wouldn't be too much trouble that would be great," she said suddenly.
I hesitated. She had said it so offhandedly that I wasn't sure what she was talking about. As she made herself comfortable, leaning an elbow on the counter impatiently, I realized she wanted me to go get her a Playboy.
An epic Christmas line was piling up behind her, but our policy is to tend to the customer. So I stopped what I'm doing and decide to go find this impatient old lady her dirty mag.
I went into the backroom where the stock was kept. The stock boys that worked back there are younger guys about in their twenties (and some not too unattractive) and trying to be discreet as I ran around looking for a Playboy.
I couldn't find it anywhere.
I sighed to myself, knowing I was going to need some help.
"Where are the Playboy Magazines?" I finally asked the guys.
The reaction was predictable.
"Yeah!" All the boys said at once. I endured a few razzes, "I didn't know you were into that, Ariana" and "No, no. I understand. You only read it for the articles."
Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.
After that we dug through a few boxes. (Barnes and Noble isn't well known for selling Playboys.) We finally get one and so I go back to my register to ring up the lady. She smiles and thanks me, then suddenly frowns as she sees the cover.
"This isn't the latest edition," she complained. I stopped scanning the item and looked up. Suddenly furious she pointed at the magazine. "I already have this one."
I excused myself again to find the latest issue but it was the only one we had.
I ended up not selling it to her, as it wasn't to her liking. So she will have to make do with just the calendar.
The End
~*~
Tis the season, I guess.
The moral of this story is never judge something by its cover... unless, of course, you wanted a more current brand of naked women.
I guess its not the most interesting work story, but I thought it was weird and I've been feeling the need to complain about people. I'm going to work in about fifteen minutes so I'm bound to have another.
Feel free to post your own weird Christmas work stories if you have any. It's kind of fun.
Yes, I know. I haven't updated. Feel free to curse me, but I'm working full time trying to get hell out of my house and working in retail during the last two weeks before Christmas is an absolute hell. I would much prefer a more painless death, but the money is coming in.
Saying this, I must tell you that Christmas retail in America brings out the weird in people. The closer you get to Christmas the more frantic people become. And a crowded store full of anxious procrastinators is bound to cause a few. Everyday this week something weird has happened. From the lady in bright pink pants covering the floor with books like tile to the woman throwing ten dollar bills at the cafe worker to guy walking around with an open can of cat food handing out samples.
So I've decided to record the weirdest events of the day and post them each morning. Have a seat boys and girls, as I begin the series of Christmas Retales.
~*~
Today's tale is: The Old Lady and the Dirty Mag
Once upon a time I was at the registers when a little old lady comes up to purchase her item. I start to ring her up doing the usual stuff when I see this little old woman is buying a Playboy calendar. Thinking it was none of my business, I put it aside and gave her the total of the purchase.
She started to open her purse, then paused thoughtfully. Then she cocked her head to the side and said, "Where are your Playboy magazines? I couldn't find them."
"We keep them in the back. You have to ask someone that works here to go get it for you," I explained.
"Why?"
Very patiently, I pretended like the answer wasn't obvious.
"Some people might think the content is too inappropriate to be on display," I said.
How else did one explain that it was full of naked women?
Her brow furrowed, clearly not satisfied with the answer, but she nodded understandedly and I continued to put her item in the bag.
"If it wouldn't be too much trouble that would be great," she said suddenly.
I hesitated. She had said it so offhandedly that I wasn't sure what she was talking about. As she made herself comfortable, leaning an elbow on the counter impatiently, I realized she wanted me to go get her a Playboy.
An epic Christmas line was piling up behind her, but our policy is to tend to the customer. So I stopped what I'm doing and decide to go find this impatient old lady her dirty mag.
I went into the backroom where the stock was kept. The stock boys that worked back there are younger guys about in their twenties (and some not too unattractive) and trying to be discreet as I ran around looking for a Playboy.
I couldn't find it anywhere.
I sighed to myself, knowing I was going to need some help.
"Where are the Playboy Magazines?" I finally asked the guys.
The reaction was predictable.
"Yeah!" All the boys said at once. I endured a few razzes, "I didn't know you were into that, Ariana" and "No, no. I understand. You only read it for the articles."
Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.
After that we dug through a few boxes. (Barnes and Noble isn't well known for selling Playboys.) We finally get one and so I go back to my register to ring up the lady. She smiles and thanks me, then suddenly frowns as she sees the cover.
"This isn't the latest edition," she complained. I stopped scanning the item and looked up. Suddenly furious she pointed at the magazine. "I already have this one."
I excused myself again to find the latest issue but it was the only one we had.
I ended up not selling it to her, as it wasn't to her liking. So she will have to make do with just the calendar.
The End
~*~
Tis the season, I guess.
The moral of this story is never judge something by its cover... unless, of course, you wanted a more current brand of naked women.
I guess its not the most interesting work story, but I thought it was weird and I've been feeling the need to complain about people. I'm going to work in about fifteen minutes so I'm bound to have another.
Feel free to post your own weird Christmas work stories if you have any. It's kind of fun.
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